Sentimental Kevin

I remember the day we first brought him home. He was little--smaller than I could have ever imagined a "Kevin" being. What was it, 8 inches, 8 lbs., 6 oz., 267 decibels? And all bundled in a nifty little crate that the hospital ward had built especially for him. The blazing hot sun of May 24th seemed to make him sweat, melt even, but in the cutest, most stifling way. We all remember the longish blondish reddish Irish hair; just in the armpits though. His head was bald. But so cute. So Cute.

We struggled with the name at first: Kevin or Gargantuan? Kevin or Gargantuan? Which will it be? A quick poll told us. Kevin 26 Gargantuan 16. Who were those 42 people who voted? We will never know for sure; they were the first 42 people who showed up at BK that morning for the Double Croissant Give-a-way Explosaganza on the corner of Cherry Street and Navarre Ave. Ah, but he was young then. And cute. So cute.

And then he became a man, a man I tell you. And then he met her, her I tell you. And his life was never the same. He married, settled down, got rich, owned a Buick LeSabre, and opened "Gargantuan Studios," and to date has produced more than 45 feature-films all with the title, "No Luck Implied, No Gain Unheralded," a series of industrial films documenting the rise of the smelting industry in upper Minnestoa, each, though, with a subtitle, bearing the name of one of his and her children. The first, you guessed it, ":Roscoe." Note the colon.

Happy Birthday, Kevin. You deserve every minute of it! Cute, so cute!

Seriously, every minute of it. Pirates 4. Can't wait!